Tim: Clare and Don’s Beach Shack
This week, we let Chef Ramsey, our first ever guest, pick the restaurant from our list. Ramsey responded by picking Clare and Don’s Beach Shack, which both and Andrew had been to before. I had never even heard of it, but it seemed neat.
When I arrived at C&D's, I assumed Andrew and Ramsey must have arrived before me based on the ETAs they texted, but still I awkwardly strut up to the hostess. I told her that I was meeting two people but was unsure if they have already arrived. Another hostess approached, enthusiastically asking if I was meeting two girls. Before I could answer, even with a mask, her face betrayed her realization of how dumb that question had been upon seeing me up close.
I was shown to an empty table tucked away in the rear of a side area right next to a tiny stage. I texted the boys for a status update. Ramsey said he was already there. Andrew asked if we meant to meet at Don and Clare’s. I started to rethink our group's intelligence as Ramsey and I attempted to find out where the other was located. While waiting, I saw a pretty attractive rocker type boi talking with an employee and scoping out the stage immediately adjacent to my table. From what I could discern, the rocker boi has a set that night and was concerned about the location as well as the fact that another band was already playing in the main area. The employee assured this sensitive rocker that the other band would end before his set. The rocker brooded, and I could see the gears turning in his head, manipulating this emotional turmoil into his next banger.
Eventually I got up and walked around to find Ramsey sitting at another table by himself. Andrew arrived but lamented both of our table options, and made us choose yet a third table closer to the band. I teased that my table was right next to an even better act, but no one listened or could care. So we abandoned two tables with three place settings and moved to one right next to reggae band, In The Meantime. All of us expressed our shock that they had live music on a Tuesday afternoon, and conflicting live acts at that.
Ramsey had already ordered his beer, so Andrew and I ordered some hazy IPAs for ourselves. I succumbed to peer pressure and server pressure to get a beer when I really wanted to try one of their tasty sounding cocktails. I later rectified this. The beer was fine, if forgettable.
We decided on some appies. Andrew ordered chips and guac. I ordered fried pickles based on a friend’s recommendation despite Andrew asserting that he is not and never will be “a pickle guy”. Ramsey eagerly agreed on splitting the pickles, but was hesitant about my wanting to order Gator Tails. As is becoming routine, I found myself disgusted at how unimaginative and weak we were being. So with our mainstream appies decided on, I knew I had to go bold with my entree. I settled on Linguini with Alligator. I had my choice of sauce, so I asked the server what pairs best with gator. He looked at me like I had just asked what ice pairs best with water. He proceeded to just restate three of the six options, and I choose pesto, unimpressed.
While waiting for our food, we honored Ramsey as our first ever guest with a pair of slightly used FCB DC custom branded socks!
The atmosphere of Clare and Don’s is definitely a highlight. They nail the beach aesthetic, especially with the increased outdoor area extending into their parking lot, but is nicely decorated and seems intentional unlike other similar Covid additions at other restaurants. The reggae band was a presence for sure, and matched the underwhelming amateur vibes that are synonymous with dining at the beach, at least in Ocean City, MD. (Shout out to the Riptide Bar and Grill) I had contemplated wearing swim trunks and flippies, and was disappointed that the other customers appeared to have bailed on the idea as well. Next time I will plan to show up in a bathing suit and soaking wet to really get the atmosphere right.
The appies arrived semi-quickly and were standard as could be. Nothing had any of our heads turning into wolves heads and our hearts beating out of our chests while we slammed our hands on the table.
The entrees also looked like any ol meal I could throw together at home, especially the tacos. I can’t speak for how they tasted but nothing about their presentation made me envious.
My linguini though looked good and tasted pretty good. I cursed the server’s robot heart for making me choose pesto, as another sauce would probably have been better. You know what they say though, 'the pesto is always greener.' The gator tasted good, but not unlike any other generic meat. All in all, I was glad I had the courage to go with something I’d not usually get, as the alternatives were boring. That being said, the only thing that made my meal not boring was that I had never had gator before, and also...where is that gator meat from?
I announced my intentions to order a cocktail, which got Andrew and Ramsey to “suddenly” take notice of the cocktail menu and express their desire for some Orange Crushes. Again I am saddened by their lack of creativity, but crushes did sound good so I opted for the Lime Crush. Fam, that Lime Crush was delicious. But still, did not match the gold standard for lime drinks, which is the Michelob Ultra Lime and Prickly Pear Cactus. The boys were less than impressed with their Orange Crushes and opted for Lime on their second round. I again went outside my comfort zone for a provocatively titled drink, Hot Cactus, which had four peppers next to its name. I asked our server if it was good, and he said “it’s spicy," before floating off into the ether.
The Hot Cactus was indeed spicy, and pretty tasty. Overall, as with the food, the drinks were satisfactory, but the combination with the atmosphere, made the experience quite enjoyable if not memorable. But even the atmosphere had its flaws. Andrew dropped a generous tip in the bucket for the band and requested blink-182. One of the members winked at Andrew and promised they had something he would like. blink-182 never was played, and the same member came over to our table apologizing, blaming the conflicting acts, but promising they would play it when they were back on Friday. A real pro move, but spoiler alert, we did not return on Friday to find out.
I would recommend for a pleasant outing with the boys, especially if those boys have low standards. Leave your change of pants at home, as the Clare and Don's experience will not require them, in either the positive or negative sense.
Service: 2/5
Atmosphere: 4/5
Price: 3/5
Food: 2.5/5
Drinks: 3/5
Bathrooms: 3/5 - Actually got to try out their bathrooms! Gerber brand toilets in gender neutral single occupancy bathrooms. If the food had given me diarrhea, I would not have been miserable using their facilities. Not the cleanest though, and typically a line to wait.
Overall: 3/5
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